The first gain!!
So my first gain of my #fatboygettingslim journey came on the 1st March 2014, 18 weigh ins in! Looking back at this I am surprised that it took so long, so much so I had to check the date 3 times! However, I can remember what happened so well. I honestly wasn’t expecting a gain (I can tell when I am going to gain most of the time) I waited to go on my normal scales with my normal weigh in lady Grace (who I now help, and who by the way is an amazing leader).
The numbers started their long journey up to where I was the week before but instead of stopping it went past. A gain of 1lb, to me it felt like the end of the world. I was not a happy bunny and in fact I walked out. Tom who started the same week as me followed (he and his wife Nicola also now help at Grace’s Saturday morning group), I couldn’t decide if he was brave or stupid to do so. I was not happy. I was gutted to have put on, but as I saw the scale go up 1lb all of a sudden I heard voices clear as day in my head from those that bullied me at school (oh I would love to name names maybe when I get to goal I will too show them how wrong they were). The shouts of “Belly’s gonna get you, Fat boy Bellshaw, watch out for the aftershock Bellshaw’s coming, Did you enjoy all the pies? You fat b***t*rd (not all from kids)… you get the drift. In that moment I was back at my primary school and secondary school, as much as I didn’t want to I was.
I had no idea why I had gained and decided I wanted to jack it in. What was the point? They were right I would never be small and I would never do anything. However Tom persuaded me to stay to class. I would love to say that I can remember what was said but I can’t. I do know that it was the right thing to do. At that moment in time I decided the bullies would not win. I don’t care what anyone says but name calling is far worse than sticks and stones. I made the choice that #fatboygettigslim would win not them. I got home and made a plan for the week. Every meal was planned, my snacks were planned. I took control. It worked. It still works. Sure I still have the odd gain (usually deserved as I have not followed the plan or have had a week off such as my 10th wedding anniversary holiday when I gained 7lb).
So my weight loss journey like life isn’t always straight forward. There are twists and turns including U-turns but we have a choice to make. A choice to stay in control and achieve or a choice to go back to the old ways and not do what we want to do and live with what if? What if that? What would have happened if? That day was a break through moment for me. I may not have realised it at the time but I decided to say no to the “what if?” and say I will. So please don’t get to upset with the odd gain it happens to us all. On the wall of our dining room as you go into the kitchen we have a phrase painted. A phrase that we grabbed hold of when we were battling infertility, fighting the system in terms of being fat and wanting to adopt. It is 3 words. Please, if you forget everything else I have written remember these 3 words