Motivation

Motivation
So today I posted that I had been for a run this morning and a couple of people commented that they wished they had my motivation. This got me thinking about what motivates me. As I blogged about a couple of blogs ago (Why am I doing this) I have found the past few months difficult from both a personal view point and a weight loss perspective.
So as I thought about why do I get up at about 5am each morning to get ready to go for a run, what keeps me going when it’s minus 1 and when its chucking it down and no matter which direction you run there seems to be what feels like a gale force wind. Here is a brief list of what motivates me. Some you may be able to identify with. The process of thinking about them and writing them down as helped remind me of how far I come. This can be applied to anything we are doing not just with exercise.
1. Me- I want to be me and to be me I need to be in better shape both physically and mentally and the journey I am on helps that.
2. My wife and son- as I have written before I want to see my son grow up and do fun father and son things like play football, go for family bike rides
3. Exploring new places- I try and vary my route so as to explore but also by entering races I go to new places and explore.
4. The best is yet to come.
5. Life is short. If we look at the news we see death on a daily basis, we see sections of society be marginalised for being different for being disabled or being poor I whole variety of reasons and the truth is we just don’t know what the future holds so grab the opportunities that present themselves.
6. Life is too short to keep having a pity party and say I can’t do this I can’t do that.
These are just a few of the things that motivate me. Why don’t you make a list of things that motivate you this could even be things you would like to do. I will leave you with a favourite bible verse of mine which sums up what helps to keep me motivated.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18The Message (MSG)
16-18 So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever.
Fatboygettingslim
#hopebubbles
#keepbelieving

Jonathan

Choose To Bloom
This may seem an odd title for a blog post but this morning I didn’t really want to go for my run. My bed was nice and warm and comfy. However as I have a half marathon coming up at the end of February I dragged myself downstairs and went out for my run. I hadn’t decided how far (well in my mind I was thinking just a short run). As I was running my mind began to clear from all the business of the week and as I have a day off today this is useful.
The route I was running has an underpass that runs under one of the main routes into Lincoln. It is surprisingly quiet. This morning I noticed some graffiti which looked newer than the other graffiti already there. I could see it said something and it said in big black writing

CHOOSE TO BLOOM

This got me thinking about some things as a family, we have been through. Of situations we are going through. One of the biggest battles we have faced and in all honesty continue to face is that of infertility. We have been told that we will never have kids the natural way (for those who love Friends think Chandler & Monica). As we walked through those early days we had a choice. We could let it get us down and stay down, we could let it kill our hope, our dreams our plans or we could choose to bloom. We made the choice to bloom, to become stronger as individuals and as a couple. We have a fantastic son who is ours.
I’m not saying that it was easy and each day we make that choice to bloom, to grow yes there are days when things get in top but we choose to learn and grow. So whatever you are going through look for the opportunity to grow.

Fatboygettingslim
#hopebubbles
#keepbelieving

Jonathan

Why am I doing this?

Why am I doing this?

I haven’t blogged for a while. My weight loss has been erratic losing and gaining the same few pounds each week. If I am being honest (and I always said I would be) I have struggled since getting injured in August. I have struggled to stay motivated. Struggled to stay focused. Found myself wondering why I am doing what I am doing? What is the point of continuing?

I have felt down. I have struggled with the feeling of worthlessness. Feeling that I am not good enough. These are thoughts that I have often struggled worth. I have been afraid that I am not needed, that I am not wanted. A lot of this stems from childhood and every now and then it resurfaces. The last few months have been like that. This combined with some difficulties that adoptive parents often face have come at once and well I had kind of accepted the lies in my head that I wasn’t worth it, that what would it matter if I stayed the same size. Could I do this? People wouldn’t miss me if I didn’t do what I do.

So the last week I have been ill with my asthma and been on steroids. When I weighed myself at home I had put on a few pounds and immediately said well that’s a gain this week. I accepted it. I didn’t fight it. I didn’t really want to fight for the loss. My mind was set to that of accepting it, and subconsciously that I wasn’t worth it.

So along to fat club I went and sure enough I had gained. I had a chat with my leader (it helps that she is a friend) and had a good chat. She pointed out a few things and asked why I hadn’t been blogging and that since I had stopped blogging my weight loss had been static. Grace also picked up on the fact that my mind-set had changed. In group we had a chat about what changes we wanted to make in the lead up to Christmas. I was in a group with Mrs B and as my boy comes along he was there as well. So as we discussed I slowly in my head started repeating some positive phases in my head.

I had to remember why I started the journey. To remember what has kept me motivated. Think of the challenges I have next year (first half marathon is just over 3 months away). I had a quick look at some old pictures, I had a look at the medals from the 4 races I have completed this year. I also choose that this was the time to draw a line under the last couple of months. To start believing in myself again. So why do I do this. Well simply because I am worth it and I want to be the best I can be. So if today you are struggling with your battle/journey whatever that may be then please remember why you started and that you are worth it.

 

Fatboygettingslim

#hopebubbles

#keepbelieving

 

Jonathan

 

Enjoy the journey

Enjoy the journey

First of all apologies for the lack of blog posts over the past few weeks. This has been due to life being busy, dealing with a few issues and also due to not being able to exercise and feeling sorry for myself.

I have struggled over the past few weeks and have gained a bit of weight nothing drastic and now heading in the right direction. I found myself getting frustrated that as I approach my 2 year anniversary of my journey that I wouldn’t have lost what I had in mind and found myself beating myself up about it. After a maintain the other week and having a chat with one of the ladies at fat club I came home and looked over some old pictures. You see, I was too focused on the future, I had forgotten about the journey from the past to the present.

I also realised that as it took me 30 years to get to my biggest that it wasn’t going to be quick to get down to where I want to be. So I took the time to appreciate the journey. You see in life we are often too focused on where we want to get to we forget about our journey.

I have been on a number of journeys in life some good such as getting married; others not such as good- infertility but each journey has taught me a valuable lesson some I have realised at the time others years later and some that I have still to realise and understand. I want to encourage you that when you find life tough remember about the journey but more importantly enjoy it.

The other news that I want to share is that I have signed up for my biggest challenge yet with my running!! I have signed up to compete in my first ever half marathon at the End of February in Cambridge. I shall of course be updating the blog with how things are going with training and life in general.

 

Fatboygettingslim

#hopebubbles

#keepbelieving

 

Jonathan

 

Fun or fear at the fair?!!

Fun or fear at the fair?!!

So today I had a gain. I put 2lb on and in fairness I was half expecting it. I started to think why me?, but I quickly caught myself. Yes I was feeling sorry for myself, mainly due to being frustrated that I can’t run. I am really struggling with the fact that I can’t go out in the way I have become used to. I have got used to it running is now part of my DNA.

As I sat there before group started, I was in my own little world thinking. I noticed that I was thinking of some great things that I have achieved on the course of my journey. I have raised along with a friend just under £5000 for Blood Cancer research so am half way to the £10,000 target. I have run 3 10k races, to do that is something I didn’t think I would ever be able to do and I am looking forward to some new challenges next year. I can buy clothes in normal clothes shops. I am no longer out of breath walking up stairs. There are so many things that I have to be thankful for. From having a roof over my head to a wife that loves me, you get the idea. By now I was smiling, as on Wednesday my 7 year old said “Dad let’s go to the fair and go on the dodgems.” “We will see” said I suddenly panicking that I wouldn’t fit into the car or that I would get stuck if I manged to squeeze myself in. As we went around the fair I had managed to avoid them for a good amount of time then it was time. Nothing was going to stop him going on so I handed over the money and waited.

As we stood waiting to go on I was sure I could hear people pointing and laughing at me such are my insecurities about myself even though they weren’t. So it was time, as Michael ran to the car with the Welsh flag on it I took a deep breath and went to get in. In my mind I could only picture myself getting stuck and the fire brigade having to come and cut me out. As I stepped in and went to sit down something happened… yes there was plenty of room. I realised that I wasn’t going to get stuck. There was lots of room, my boy had lots of room to. I started laughing to myself and then as my son looked at me a big grin came across my face- “I told you that you’d fit dad” he piped up. And you know what I had a great time. I even managed to have a sneaky selfie. I didn’t want our time to finish.

So as I write this I want to encourage you, when you feel down because you have put on or you’ve not landed the promotion or work or your dream house has been sold and not to you… to stop for a minute and think. Think of the things you do have, think of the things that have made you smile. Life is too short to dwell on a little bump on the road.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

dodgem

Fatboygettingslim

Jonathan

#keepbelieving

#neverlosehope

#hopebubbles

Running

Running

I had been getting rid of my weight for nearly a year (I say this because in my mind if I loose something I want to go find it and get it back but when I take it to the tip I never want it back) and I knew that I needed to start exercising. More importantly I wanted to start exercising. I had cycled on and off for years which I enjoyed; but I wanted to do something that it didn’t matter where I was. This was partly driven by the fact that I often travel for work so I needed something that would fit in with that.

My son had previously asked me to go running with him, my fantastic wife had just started the couch to 5k programme, so it made sense. So the 3 of us took the dogs to a quiet area off the river, away from where we lived so no one would see us.

Well, to say I struggled would be an understatement. It was only running for 30 seconds at a time but I struggled. I didn’t fully appreciate how unfit I was. I felt good after though; well I did when I could breathe again!! So we kept doing it until a few weeks in I decided I wanted to do 5k. This was a nice route from where we started to a bit further down. I knew the stretch of river well. Mrs B had decided she preferred being on her bike or swimming.

So off I went with my music on to keep me going. I did it. It may have taken over an hour but I did it, What I noticed was that other runners are so supportive with their shouts of keep going or well done, a nod of the head and a smile, a couple even ran with me for 5 minutes. Those runners I met on that first run won’t have known what that meant to me, which is why I always at least try to smile to other runners.

I stopped doing the programme and just decide I would go running. So I started setting my alarm early and heading out. This had a few benefits

  1. It was dark (I started at the beginning of Autumn) so no one would see how big I was or how slow I was running.
  2. The dogs had their morning exercise.
  3. It was done and dusted for the day.

The 4th thing I quickly found was how going for a run really clears my head. It gives me time to thing about things. To clear my head and get ready for the day ahead. I also use that time to pray and talk to God and to listen to him. I know don’t run with music, and usually don’t run with my hearing aids in. I love listening to the birds singing, to the quietness of the morning. I find it so refreshing.

If you are thinking about running but have never been sure here are a few things to help you decide to run

  1. It is good for your health, not just physical but research shows also for your mental health.
  2. It is cheap to get started. All you need is shorts/joggers a tshirt and trainers to start. A word of caution if you find you are enjoying it I would really recommend going to a specialist running shop and getting them to sort you out with a pair that will support you properly.
  3. You can do it anywhere! The first thing I pack in my suitcase when going away even if for a night is my running gear.
  4. It can be something you do on your own or with others. I normally run on my own but I do enjoy running with others.
  5. It is free- no costly gym membership fees, no wear and tear on the car.

The other reason is if I can run anyone can. It doesn’t matter how far you run, nor how fast or how elegant your running style is you are doing it.

I fell in love with running. I run usually 5 times a week. It keeps me focused. It helps with the getting rid of the weight and I’ve made some great friends along the way.

I will blog some more about my running adventures as I have gone on to complete3 10k races with some exciting challenges ahead next year!!

Fatboygettingslim

#hopebubbles

#keepbelieving

Jonathan

You are You

You are You!

You are you. You are not me. You are not your brother or sister. You are not the celebrity who’s every move you watch. You are not the fastest runner at your club. You are you!

They say confession is good for the soul so here is a confession. I have always wanted to be someone else. For years I struggled being me. At secondary school I was always being compared to my big brother. He was musical, I wasn’t really, he was academic I wasn’t. I could argue and fight though that was my way of saying to teachers I wasn’t him. I remember in the year we had to decide what standard grades (GCSE’s) we wanted to do. I was in Geography and we had to do a project on the San Francisco earth quake. I said I would do the project that would get me the middle grade, possibly if I did really well I may get a grade higher. Well my teacher was having none of it. I can remember what she said ‘Jonathan, Martyn did the top project and you can to!’ despite my best efforts I lost the argument. So what did I do? Well Martyn still had his project so a change of name a bit of a re jig and I handed it in. I got top marks. I was rebelling against being compared to my brother. I wanted to be me but no matter how hard I tried it was never going to happen. I was Bellshaw Junior.

So fast forward to when I was at university (itself a miracle I got in with the A level results I got!) I was still trying to find out who I was. I became a nightclub bouncer working in pubs and clubs around Staffordshire. I fitted in, I was one of the lads I had fun but still I didn’t feel like me. I have continued the journey since then and it is only over the past couple of years that I have accepted that I am me.

There is no point in denying it. I am who I am. I am unique. I am the only person who can do exactly what I do and how I do it.

Part of that journey into accepting myself is learning to accept compliments. You see I believe that there is something inside our minds that will always pick up on the negative comments. This is why I believe that we find it very difficult to genuinely accept nice comments. I have struggled to accept that I am looking good, I am handsome, you are doing well etc (you get my drift). I normally use humour to accept or deflect this, but I have realised that even if someone has an ulterior motive I can still accept a compliment.

You see as I approach my 33rd birthday I am finally accepting that I am me and no one else. There is no point in trying to be someone else because my DNA is mine. We cannot take someone else’s DNA on instead of ours, so please stop trying. Accept the compliments, accept you are you. If you were meant to be someone else you wouldn’t have been born as you. Whatever your ‘you’ is find it.

Keep being who you are. Some of you need to hear what I am saying and start to accept it. There is only one of you in the world. Only one person who is set to achieve what you will achieve. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. Stay true to yourself.

Fatboygettingslim

#hopebubbles

#keepbelieving

Jonathan